Self-esteem can be very slick – it’s high, and then it’s low. This is normal, and it would be quite strange if we held a high self-esteem every second of every day. However, we should be confident in ourselves, and we should have high, or moderately-high self-esteem, most days out of the week. It becomes a problem when you’re feeling low most days.
Positive mindsets: what are they?
There are quite a few ways to help low self-esteem. One of the best ways to help yourself is to use positive mindsets. A mindset is like a different frame of mind on something. It can help you, but it can take a while to cultivate it if you’ve been suffering for a while. But that isn’t meant to discourage you.
In my experience, I’ve had some long stretches where I wasn’t feeling myself, but using positive mindsets has totally changed the way I think. The coolest part is you start noticing real changes when you do it consistently. What do I mean by that? I mean you really start feeling positive, and good about the present and the future. Of course, as you experience life, you want to focus on the positive experiences that you have and really take them in. This adds onto and reinforces your positive mindset. And, remember: it’s not your experiences that shape you – it’s your reactions to them.
And, remember: it’s not your experiences that shape you – it’s your reactions to them.
How do you employ positive mindsets?
Well, it can be as simple as repeating to yourself, “I am confident, I am growing, and I will take any negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts.” It’s truly a bizarre, and unconventional way of thinking, but it works. Your mind is directly connected to your body, and if you think positively, your brain will adjust and change, too. It’s one of the most incredible wonders of the brain – it’s plasticity is priceless.
Another technique you can use is to just get out and do something. It can literally be anything. Go start working out at the gym, ask a friend to hangout, learn something new, watch a movie… anything. You might not feel like doing it, but once you do it, you’ll feel better about yourself.
It’s one of the most incredible wonders of the brain – it’s plasticity is priceless.
In addition, it also helps to just stay mindful of your state of mind. Staying mindful means you are consciously aware of your state of mind, as if you are watching yourself from the outside. When you do this, you must let go of control. It’s like accepting where you are in the present, but you are also letting go of control of everything. Let your body just do what it does. What I mean by that, is if you are anxious, just let your body be anxious. Don’t fight it. Just let your body be, and let thoughts come and go.
When you force yourself to think positively, it doesn’t work. But when you let your body do the thinking for you, you relax into yourself. It’s basically meditation.
It’s not working.
Yeah, it probably won’t feel like it is at first. But if you keep at it, you will eventually change your brain. When neurons fire together, they wire together. Just like when you go to the gym, and you’re gaining muscle mass, it takes a while to do so. And if you stay consistent at it, you will eventually notice some massive changes. That is exactly what I am suggesting when you think positively over a long period time. If you are interested in how to think positively, you may want to check out principles of Buddhism, as it advocates for the same thing.
Lastly, I’d like to share this quote from an article that also discusses self-esteem. It gives another positive mindset to work from:
“A psychologist once said self-esteem = achievements/expectations. So if you have ten expectations of yourself and you’ve only achieved one of them, your self-esteem won’t be so great. On the other hand, if you have five and you are achieving all five of them, you’ll likely feel at peace with yourself. So to simplify, determine what your goals are, and then do them! Make sure they’re attainable and your expectations aren’t extreme.”
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“I learned a long time ago that life is short. I’ve buried roommates, friends, family members, and my father. I would rather express myself, tell someone I love them, and risk the rejection than hold it in. I hate funerals but I love parties. I hate coping with other humans. I love partying with them and trading good vibes. If I love you, I’m going to tell you while we have breath, even if it makes you uncomfortable. I don’t expect to hear back. I just want you to know because when I’m gone I don’t want the doubt to be there. I would rather give it my all and fail than any other option. That’s just me. I was raised to be two things: methodical in my ways and passionate about the experience of life. So yes, I’m crazy, but I’d rather be a little nutty than whatever the alternative is. Society has all these rules for who you shouldn’t and shouldn’t love but we can’t control love, we can’t control how long the feeling stays, or who it chooses. We can’t. Sometimes you just want to grab someone and kiss them as deeply as you’d like, but you don’t, because of fear or rejection. I’d rather be rejected because I have to live before I die. I can’t be dead while having air in my lungs. I know I’m not alone in these thoughts.” – Sylvester McNutt III